Let’s Talk About Sex

Sex. A three letter word that’s been warped to connate something sinful. Something God hates, a good thing he says we can’t have. But that’s so far from the truth.

I wanna bring light to what God says about sex and how you can still seek purity in your dating relationship in 2018.Genesis 2:24 says this:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh..”

One flesh. Those are powerful words. This verse is saying that your two souls are mingled together. This is why there’s no such thing as casual sex. When you commit a sexual act with someone, you don’t walk away unaffected.

I know how easy it is to fall to temptation. You tell yourself you love this person and you know you’re gonna get married someday. Andrea Trevenna puts in like this:

“Outside of marriage at least one partner is saying to the other, I love you today but I may not love you tomorrow. I’m here today, but I can’t guarantee I will be in a decade. My love is not truly unconditional.”

These words bring out so many emotions. A bold truth that sex outside of marriage brings nothing but heartache and premature emotions. The Lord isn’t trying to withhold his good gift of sex from us. But he’s protecting us from unplanned pain. In waiting for marriage you’re guarding your heart.

While my purity is important to me, there are so many times I’ve fallen short. Sin and temptation does that to you. It takes you further then you want to go and keeps you longer then you want to stay.

This is a list of ways to help you seek purity and overcome temptation in your dating relationship:

  1. Set Boundaries

I don’t know how this looks for you in your specific relationship, but this could include things like no turning the lights off, feet always on the floor, hang out in a group setting, no intense make outs. But talk about it with your significant other and Sind the things that put your in tempting situations and avoids those things before you get there.

2. Pray

Prayer is powerful and prayer changes things. Pray for specific things like strength, self-control, and a desire for godliness and purity. I would even say to pray before every date that you stay pure and honor the Lord.

3. Lead

It’s important for both men and women to be leaders when it comes to purity and not relying on the other person to seek purity, but its especially important for men! Men are called to be the head of the household in the marriage, to lead their wife and their family. This leadership starts in the dating relationship though. Yes, women can most definitely lead a relationship in purity. But when a man leads in purity, he’s guarding the heart of the women he loves. He’s telling her, “I love you enough to wait.” And as a woman, that’s a powerful thing to hear. It’s allows one to feel both safe and confident in their relationship.

In saying all of this, there’s a disclaimer. Don’t think I’ve been perfect. Oh I wish I could say that I have. There are so many nights I’ve spend crying because I felt so unworthy and remorseful of my decisions to follow my heart instead of following Jesus. But the Lord is so good. He shows so much grace. So that I can wake up today knowing I’m more then what I’ve done. I’m more then what a guy says about me. I’m a redeemed daughter of The King.

Maybe you’ve felt these same feelings of unworthiness. Maybe you’ve went farther then you wanted. Maybe you let your guard down and gave everything you had to someone who changed their mind. Or maybe you’re still struggling with overcoming this sin and temptation. But I wanna tel you it doesn’t matter how many notches you have in your belt. It doesn’t matter what mistakes you’ve made, the Lord shows grace the second we ask. He takes our dirty messes and makes us white as snow.

I pray the Lord has spoke to your heart. I pray you see that sex is good, but God is better. And when the world tells us that we need sex, know that what we really need is Jesus.

1 Comment

  1. Julie Bean

    December 5, 2018 at 6:30 pm

    Are hand jobs an example of an intimate sexual encounter when you become one flesh?

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