Killing the Crazy Girlfriend Social Norm
This is long overdue and highly anticipated.
I’ve spent nights praying over this post. I’ve dug deep into the word and probably overanalyzed every relationship I’ve ever been in. But, I’ve enjoyed the lessons I’ve learned and the personal growth and development I’ve found through this process. Please know the words you’re about to read/hear are for the girl that’s been crazy and obsessive over a boy, the girl searching for her identity and confidence, the girl who has lost herself in an attempt to find someone else. These words are for girls just like me.
I won’t beat around the bush or try and lie to you. I have most definitely spent late nights SnapMap stalking, creeping insta for “last seen” notifications, and checking for read receipts. I have become insecure by the amount of time it took a boy to reply to me. I have cried because he chose to do something instead of spend time with me. I have shouted when I never should have and gotten upset over petty things. I expected all of their attention to be on me and if they talked to another girl my mind couldn’t take it. I had anxiety of the worst possible scenarios and got upset over things that “could happen”.
This was all rooted because I blamed boys for problems in my life that were never their fault. I took my own internal burdens and threw those issues on men who were never meant to solve them. Ladies… this is not a way to live in a relationship. I look back at my past relationships with a heavy heart. Though most of the men in my past left me feeling hurt and broken, I know I did the same to them. For while they may have hurt me by making me feel like I couldn’t be loved, I made them feel like they’d never been enough for me by always nagging and doubting their word. I didn’t leave them better than I found them, and as a christian woman, thats my job.
I wholeheartedly believe as a christian, when a relationship ends and doesn’t end in marriage, ultimately thats because that wasn’t the Lord’s will. BUT, I think your significant other should see Jesus in you. They should be able to rejoice in the time they spent with you even if things ended. You should leave them better than what you found them. And sadly I can’t say that to be true in every relationship I’ve been in. But I pray that as I’ve matured more as a woman, that any relationship I have in the future follows these standards.
I no longer want to live by a mindset that says I can’t be loved! Because that mind-set says if he reads your text and doesn’t respond, he must be with another girl or deciding he doesn’t love you anymore right?
Don’t expect a man to treat you like a princess when you treat him like a criminal.
If you are with a man who loves and honors you like Jesus does, this is never a fear you have to have. And if this is an actual fear that the person you’re dating is dishonoring you and your relationship anytime they aren’t with you or talking to you, this is not a relationship you should be in!!
Don’t let social media tell you its okay to be crazy. Don’t let your insecurity overtake your relationship. Because ultimately that’s where our crazy tendency stems from. We as women feel that in order to guard our heart, we must control everything our significant other does. But truthfully, your insecurity is void when you find your identity in Jesus, not in a man.
Seek the Lord. Run as fast as you can towards Jesus. And don’t enter into a relationship until you know you are loved by the Father and can love yourself. Don’t go into a relationship with a man that doesn’t try to mirror the love of the father with his love for you. But know that you must also love him in this way.
You are so loved. but, you have to know you are loved by the Father in order to love a man the way Christ does. You are beloved daughters of our Lord most high!! I promise he doesn’t want you living a relationship of fear and insecurity, he wants you to live a relationship of honor and truth.
Let God be the light that guides you into a relationship of confidence and joy!